Inside the Clergy

Then the Lord said to Aaron: You shall have no allotment in their land, nor shall you have any share among them; I am your share and your possession among the Israelites. Numbers 18:20

Inside the Clergy
By Rev. William Dohle

Imagine taking a job where you are judged by the actions of everyone who had the job before you as well as everyone doing the job around you. Your "good work" puts pressure on others and their good work puts pressure on you to be like them. Their failures became your failures too. Their weaknesses turn on you.

Anytime you talk about your job people see you as weak. "Can't you handle it?" they say. "Why did you get into this profession in the first place?" And of course the classic "Quit complaining!" Quiet suffering is preferable to vocal expression. Either you accept the life you're given...or you get out.

Would you ever survive such a calling?

A friend of mine wrote me last week to tell me he's leaving the ministry. This is the fifth or sixth friend of mine who has left ministry because of the pressure put on pastors. When I heard his news I felt like a bullet has pierced my side. I felt so...alone!

Sometimes I wonder if we actually described ministry right if anyone would follow the call. Would they want to be pastors if they knew that it sometimes involved long hours away from your family at a moment's notice? Could they survive both good comments and negative criticism, the loud noise of the critic and the quiet support of the silent? Could they find joy even when their heart is racing? Could they see the good when others are pointing out the bad?

The Washington Post recently posted an article that makes me shudder. Here it says this:

A new LifeWay Research poll last week says a pastors’ work-life balance is not exactly balance:

• 84 percent say they’re on call 24 hours a day.
• 80 percent expect conflict in their church.
• 54 percent find the role of pastor frequently overwhelming.
• 53 percent are often concerned about their family’s financial security.
• 21 percent say their church has unrealistic expectations of them.

This is not good. With numbers like these, could we re-imagine some things together for the health of your churches, your families and your own souls? 

Maybe we start here: 90 percent of you believe you inadequately manage the demands of your job, and half of you are so discouraged, you would abandon ministry if you had another job option."

Later there are even more frightening statistics:

"The numbers tell us you suffer in private and struggle in shame: 77 percent of you believe your marriage is unwell, 72 percent only read your Bible when studying for a sermon, 30 percent have had affairs and 70 percent of you are completely lonely."

What is most frightening is how scared I am to share these numbers, having been told once I shouldn't be honest about my struggles.

Still, I love my job, don't get me wrong, but I know why it's called a calling. Only by God's call and through God's power are we able to survive the wounds that come with being in ministry.

This isn't anything new. In fact, since the people of Israel were in the wilderness and God was organizing them into tribes, priests have always bore the weight of the people.

"You and your sons and your ancestral house with you shall bear responsibility for offenses connected with the sanctuary, while you and your sons alone shall bear responsibility for offenses connected with the priesthood."

Sounds pretty heavy. "Responsibility for offenses"? What's up with that? What possibly could God mean by his priests alone being responsible for offenses connected with the priesthood? And what responsibilities could he mean?

In Moses' time, the priests weren't as responsible for the people's connection to God...but they weren't alone. No priest ever worked alone. They worked as a tribe. The ones descended from Aaron being the High Priests in the tribe and the rest being their acolytes and other priests. This tribe owned no land. They raised no crops. They existed solely on the generosity of their neighbor. They existed because people needed God and they became the link between God and his people.

Sounds like today, huh?

And just like today, the Levites(priests) relied upon the offerings given by others. They shared in the people's offering. Without it, the Levites would whither and die. Thus when the people were faithful to God, the priesthood thrived. But when the people fell away and worshiped other gods, the priesthood suffered.

Sounds familiar too?

In both cases, though, there is one word that stands out. One word that is repeated over and over again in this text. That word is: Gift. And let me tell you, despite all the statistics and the trials of this job, that is what I live for. I live for the gift of...

• Standing around the bedside with the family of someone who dying. The gift of giving hugs and prayers and walking with them during the most difficult time in their lives.
• Holding a brand new baby baptized into the congregation and watching that baby grow up.
• High fives after church...as a couple little girls go by me.
• Seeing God come to life for a middle schooler.
• Hearing the words God gave you in a sermon repeated back positively to you later.
• Being a part of the body of Christ.

God has filled ministry with lots of perks. It might be a dangerous world out there, filled with land mines seen and unseen, but God has given us gifts too and those gifts are worth the risk.

God of grace, thank you for those who minister to us. Pastors, priests, counselors, rabbis, and those who touch our spirit. Fill their lives with your gifts. Amen. 

"Lord, give me a sign!"

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

"Lord, give me a sign!"
By Rev. William Dohle

One of the most frustrating parts of faith is the unseen piece of it. Even though we know that "faith is the assurance of things hoped for and conviction in things not seen" we'd still like to see its fruits once in awhile.

That desire is strongest when we're faced with a tough decision. When a decision presents itself, be it a life-and-death decision or just a life-changing one, we pray for guidance. We pray for an answer to our dilemma. And, most of all, we pray for a sign.

"Just give me a sign, God!"

We'd like God to tell us what we should do and show us the way...just as he did for Aaron and the people of Israel so long ago.

There, in the desert, the question arose: Who's going to be in charge? After complaints arose against Aaron and Moses and their leadership, cries arose for a new leader. So God answered. God decided to give them a sign of the man who he had chosen to spiritually lead his people.

So this is what he said:

"Speak to the Israelites, and get twelve staffs from them, one for each ancestral house, from all the leaders of their ancestral houses. Write each man’s name on his staff, and write Aaron’s name on the staff of Levi. For there shall be one staff for the head of each ancestral house. Place them in the tent of meeting before the covenant,where I meet with you. And the staff of the man whom I choose shall sprout; thus I will put a stop to the complaints of the Israelites that they continually make against you." (Numbers 17:1-5)

So the people did that and what happened? Well...

"When Moses went into the tent of the covenant on the next day, the staff of Aaron for the house of Levi had sprouted. It put forth buds, produced blossoms, and bore ripe almonds. Then Moses brought out all the staffs from before the Lord to all the Israelites; and they looked, and each man took his staff." (Numbers 17:8-9)

Low and behold God gave them a sign! Aaron was to be their leader. His staff had put forth buds, produced blossoms, and bore ripe almonds. A miracle! God had answered their prayer!

Only... the people weren't exactly happy about this. God tells them: "Put back the staff of Aaron before the covenant, to be kept as a warning to rebels, so that you may make an end of their complaints against me, or else they will die." and the people tell Moses: "We are perishing; we are lost, all of us are lost!  Everyone who approaches the tabernacle of the Lord will die. Are we all to perish?"(Num 17:10-11)

What happened? They got a sign right? But it wasn't the sign they wanted! They heard from God but they didn't like what they heard. So the same complaints continued, even after God's sign.

The same happens to us too. If we're honest, we really don't WANT a sign to some of the questions we ask God. Or rather, we want a sign from God to confirm our own decisions and our own choices. We want God to tell us what we want to hear, rather than tell us what we'd rather not hear. Think about it... what if God said...

"I will give you peace as they die" when you pray for a sign of healing for a dying neighbor.
Or... "I think you are great just where you are..." when you pray for a promotion.
Or... "I will help you through this..." when we pray for an end to our suffering.

Sometimes we don't want to hear from God. Sometimes we don't want a sign...especially when we want something specific.

Instead of asking for a sign, perhaps we should ask for eyes to see more clearly. Perhaps we should pray for eyes to see the answer that God is giving us and wisdom to accept that answer too. Perhaps we should pray that God would grant the strength to accept God's choice, that we may have peace in that decision and patience to see it through, and that the love and joy of his Holy Spirit would continue to shower down upon us regardless of our circumstances.

Almighty God, you gave us the ultimate sign of your love: Jesus on the cross. Grant us the grace to see that love and accept it, knowing that it will make us uncomfortable at times, but save us in the end. Amen.