The Allure of Complaint
By Rev. William Dohle
Yesterday I had a brand new experience.
Our neighborhood association invited five candidates for city council to come and speak. Sitting together at a table on our stage at church, they answered questions, one at at time, first from the organizers and later from the audience.
It was just like one of those political debates you see on television!
One thing I noticed though throughout the evening. Most of the questions were complaints in disguise. One question focused on the road condition, the other on a proposed housing group moving into the area, another on the budget and still another on the medical mariquana situation in our area. But they weren't asking about what the candidates would do to fix it. They were complaining about what had been done.
And the candidates joined in on the complaints too!
A question I offered about the future and how we can get people of various faiths and different races together was ignored.
Of course it was. I wasn't complaining about anything!
(And speaking of complaints...here I am complaining about their complaining! Go figure, huh?)
So why is complaining so appealing to us? Why do we do it so well?
Place two people in the same room together and get them talking and before you know it, they're complaining! It might be the weather or the government or their church or their family or how terrible a week it's been or something else. But they'll be complaining!
So what do you do when the complaining starts? Let's look to the Bible for answers.
In the book of Numbers, Numbers chapter 11, we are told the people start to complain...
Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord, and when he heard them his anger was aroused. Then fire from the Lord burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp. When the people cried out to Moses, he prayed to the Lord and the fire died down. So that place was called Taberah,because fire from the Lord had burned among them. (11:1-4)First reaction... anger! How dare you complain, we say. This reaction is strongest when the complaints are against us. This is called defensiveness and it's the least healthiest reaction to complaints. Some people live in this reactive-state, deciding to only attack back at people when they complain against them instead of listening to their concerns.
God gets angry and consumes many in the camp. But the complaints don't stop there...
The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, “If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!”(11:4-6)Now the complaints get specific. Where before they were a general complaint "I wish you would do more of..." or "I wish things were different...", now they've become specific in their displeasure.
Last night I heard this from one woman in particular whose question was called out of the group. Even the candidates knew who asked the question and she stood up and expressed her displeasure with the council members personally. Her complaints were very specific. They sounded like attacks and she sat down not pleased with what any of the candidates had said.
What do you do with this kind of complaint? Well... it still gets you angry, as it got God angry too. And since it was directed at Moses, it made him upset as well. It actually wounds him.
So God solves it by forming a committee and spreading the blame around.
“Bring me seventy of Israel’s elders who are known to you as leaders and officials among the people. Have them come to the tent of meeting, that they may stand there with you. 17 I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone."(11:16-17)When they come, God declares the Israelites will have meat and quails are sent among the people.
So... why is this written for us to remember all these years later? Why are we told about the people's complaints? Perhaps this passage shows the flow of complaints, not only for the Israelites, but also for us. Perhaps this can teach us something about the process of complaining.
When complaints come, first we want to lash out. We want to get angry. We want fire to come down from heaven and consume them. We want to get defensive.
If we get past this part, then we feel hurt and betrayed, just as Moses did. We may even cry out like Moses, "Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me?" We feel the complaint as bloody wounds.
And then God offers us community. A family of people to help share the blame. Seventy of Israel's elders helped Moses out. In the best of times, this family is the church council in congregations or your friends and family in other times. This family helps with the burden of complaint.
Then comes the solution from God...only it never looks like much of a solution at all. Quail came to the Israelite camp to provide them with meat. These quail didn't squash the complaints. The people still complained, but they were a mercy from God when everything seemed dark and dreary.
In the end, there's really nothing we can do with complaints and complaining people. The Bible says they are a "stiff-necked people." The Bible also says they too are beloved by God. Perhaps the only thing we can do with them is love them. We can form our own community around us to help us deal with their affect on our lives. And then we can pray to God that God would offer some surprising solution to their problem.
It worked for Moses. Maybe it could work for us too...
Patient God, you sat through the complaints of your people, not just in the wilderness, but throughout the ages. Give us such patience that we may, with our communities, weather the complaining storm surrounding us. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment