Pondering the Proverbs: The Power of Gossip

Proverb of the Week : Courtesy of Leslie Pehl
Without wood a fire goes out;
without gossip a quarrel dies down. Proverbs 26:20

The Meditation: The Power of Gossip

“Did you hear?”
“What?”
“Well, I probably shouldn’t tell you. It’s not very good.”
“Oh... Go ahead. I won’t say anything.”
“Oh well. What’s it gonna hurt? I heard that...”

Ever been privy to one of these conversations? Or overheard one of these conversations spoken in the grocery store, at the post office, in the school hallways? Have you ever had a secret you shouldn’t tell...and then found yourself telling someone who never knew? Or found your ears itching to hear what the couple next to you is saying? Only so you could repeat it?

If you have then you’ve been involved with Gossip!

Gossip is the strangest thing. It feels so innocent. It’s only a few words. Maybe a little story overheard someplace else passed on to the another person. It doesn’t change anything or cause too much trouble... right? Gossip is an intrigal part of our lives today. We have whole columns and newspapers devoted to it. Television shows like : “Extra” and “Hollywood Insider” keep us up to date on the celebrity gossip. And even our county newspaper can give rise to it on occasion.

Gossip isn’t new either. It wasn’t invented last year. In fact, the book of Proverbs has something to say about the phenomenon too.

“Without wood a fire goes out;
without gossip a quarrel dies down.” (Prov. 26:20)
“The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;
they go down to a man’s inmost parts.” (Prov. 26:22)

Gossip itself lies to us, making us think it is something that it isn’t. For instance...
Gossip always hurts...regardless of the story involved. You have heard it said: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” But I tell you, from the book of James, “The tongue is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person...With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father and with it we curse men who have been made in God’s likeness.”(James 3:6a, 9).

Gossip hurts far worse than physical violence ever would because it wounds a persons integrity and reputation. After one gossip tale or another, the trust we have for the person goes down, their reputation takes a beating. Sadly they’re usually out of the room so it is impossible for them to even defend themselves against the attacks.

Gossip isn’t just lies. Reading something in the paper and talking about it with someone who isn’t involved in the issue can be considered gossip too when that talk disrespects the other person or wounds their reputation. In our home, the Police Blotters give us plenty of opportunity for gossip as they often feature humorous stories that can be easily passed on. Who benefits from the telling? Well, the teller does. Who pays the price? Those involved do. They become the objects of ridicule.

Hearing Gossip is wrong too. I’ve heard people say: “I might overhear something but I never tell anyone.” That is good on one front, but not good on another. Listening to gossip period is wrong in the eyes of God. Why? Because of what Proverbs says. The words of a gossip go down deep into us. And though we may never say anything to anyone about it, but the fact of the matter is, gossip has changed us. Now whenever we see the other person, we will think of the gossip we heard. Whenever we interact together, the stories we heard will be at the back of our minds. We can’t help it interfering with how we see them. It just happens.

So what do we do with all of this?? Now that we understand what Gossip is, what do we do to stop it?

Well, the Bible has a number of solutions for us as well.

1) From Proverbs 21:23: “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.”
You can remember another proverb you probably learned: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Guard what you say. Make sure that it builds others up and doesn’t tear them down. If you must talk about others behind their back, praise them and honor them. Put the best construction on everything they do and say. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

2) From Proverbs 20:19: “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.”
The best medicine for gossip is really to stay away! Avoid the gossip at all costs. Since even listening to gossip is a sin, don’t hang around it. If you hear someone start a story, ask them not to finish it. Or leave the room. Interrupt their negative tale with a positive one. Or throw doubt into their story to begin with. The power of the gossip lies in his or her ability to make you believe what they are saying. So...logically... stop believing everything they’re telling you! Most of it is made up anyway or embellished upon. Stop listening to them!

3) From Ecclesiastes 7:21: “Do not pay attention to every word people say or you may hear your servant cursing you–for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.”
The fact of the matter is... Gossip happens. It happens to you and you make it happen to others. So... don’t pay any attention to it. Not the gossip that is going around about you and certainly not the stuff that’s going around about others. Forgive the gossip. Forgive the others for not being perfect people and forgive yourself for not living up to their expectations.

4) Finally.. The ultimate solution is simply...forgiveness! We must learn how to forgive and forget the wrongs that others do. So what they’re not perfect...we’re not perfect too! So what they’ve messed up in their lives...we’ve messed up too! Stop comparing yourself with everyone else and soon you’ll find the urge to gossip start to disappear. As you know yourself to be as sinful(if not more so) than your neighbor beside you, the urge to gossip about them, to make them look worse than you are, disappears and you may find a spirit of compassion and love given only by Jesus Christ our Lord descend upon your heart and mind. May that Spirit descend upon you this week! Amen.

Questions to Answer

1) Is gossip really wrong? Talk about it? When would gossip be considered “good”? Or would it ever be considered that?

2) Think about a time gossip has negatively affected your life. How did you feel? What did you hear others were saying? How did they react to you? Did you feel empowered by others talking bad about you? Or powerless?

3) Is there really a way you guard yourself from gossip? Have you ever? Or do your ears itch when you hear someone start whispering about someone beside you?

End With Prayer
Word of God, you speak into our hearts and change lives. Mold us into your children that, by every word we speak, we may build others up. Guard our ears from the whispers of the gossip and empower us to speak your word of grace, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.