The Unmentionable Mentioned

Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, “You have brought trouble on me by making me obnoxious to the Canaanites and Perizzites, the people living in this land. We are few in number, and if they join forces against me and attack me, I and my household will be destroyed.”  But they replied, “Should he have treated our sister like a prostitute? ”  Genesis 34:30-31

The Unmentionable Mentioned
By Rev. William Dohle

"Shame on you!"

How many times have you heard these words?  How many times have you said them to others?

Though I remember hearing them from my mother growing up, I know now how very serious shame can be.  Shame isolates people from each other.  It rips families and even churches apart.  Shame can lead to depression.  And shame can even kill.

Shame can come on so suddenly too.

Suppose a Mr. and Mrs. Smith has been attending church regularly.  They have a daughter in college and a son in high school.  They are each gainfully employed, go on vacation each summer, and seem perfectly happy.

But then the unthinkable happens.

Their daughter is raped at a party in college.  The police are unsure about what exactly happened.  Though they resist doing so, blame is placed upon the daughter for being at the party where the event happened.

Their son, reacting to his sister, starts hanging out with the wrong crowd, gets messed up with drugs, and winds up in jail.

Will these two, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, ever come to church again?

The answer is... probably not.  The reason is because of shame.  For one reason or another, they feel shamed for having all of this happen to them.  They worry about what the church will think.  They worry about their own impression.  Even if nobody at church ever mentions it, they will stay away because of the power of shame.

Shame, though, should have no place at church because we've been there.  Our ancestors have had everything happen to them...including rape, murder, revenge, and the like.

The story of Dinah in Genesis is a story of shame.  Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, the blessed one, heir of the promise, is raped by a local king.  Though he falls in love with her, he has already defiled her.  But Jacob doesn't do anything about it, his children do.  His sons, taking the initiative, enacts their own vengeance upon, not only the king, but also his people, killing all the men of their town and shaming Jacob with their actions.

This is not our favorite story in the Bible.  Nor is it one most people know.

But we should.  We should know of it.  Not because we condone their actions, but because it helps us talk about it.  It releases the ones bound by shame.  It helps us know that these things have happened before, even to God's chosen people, and life went on.  God still loved them, claimed them, protected them, and called them his chosen people.  Even after Dinah was raped.  Even after vengence was had.  Even when everything went wrong.  God was still there.

It's interesting to note that in this entire chapter of Genesis there is no mention of God at all.  God doesn't talk to them, help them, or appear anywhere near them.  God seems strangely absent here.  Maybe there's a reason for that.

When shame rears its ugly head, God feels absent for us too.  When we have been shamed, either by our own actions or the actions of others, God feels so far away.  "I just can't talk to him," some have told me.  "He seems so distant."

But God isn't distant.  In fact, the very next verse after this event features God calling Jacob elsewhere.  "Go to Bethany," God tells him.  God hasn't abandoned Jacob or his family, despite the feelings of shame they may be feeling.  God is still there for them.

And He's still there for us!

If you or someone you know suffers from shame.  If they have isolated themselves from church, from family, from society, because of the actions of others.  Listen to them.  Hug them.  Tell them God is still there for them.  And maybe show them this story from our past.  Here the unmentionable is mentioned.  But look further too at the verse that comes after it, reminding us that God is still here with plans in hand!


Loving God, your love casts our all fear and breaks the hold shame has upon us.  Forgive us, strengthen us, and send us out into the world as shame-breakers.  Amen.