The Curse of the Eldest

"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'
" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' " Luke 15:28-32

Being the oldest child is hard!

Not only are you responsible for your siblings, (especially when they’re 6, 8, and 10 years younger than you), but you’re also responsible for setting a good example and taking the blame. Especially taking the blame! Oldest siblings are assigned the most work to do and receive the least reward. They’re the first ones the parents call on to clean the living room or mow the grass or fix whatever problem they need fixing. They are promised things that never come true for them. They are assigned and given “responsibilities” and treated as adults before their time.

No wonder so many of us are Type A people!

I grew up as an oldest child and swore I would never put my son in that position. Never would I promise him things I didn’t fulfill right away. Never would I give them “special jobs” and their siblings “special privileges.” Never would I tell him one thing and their siblings something else. Never would I spend more time coddling over his siblings than I did over him. Never!

Of course I broke my word and the curse continues. Even today, when we want something done right away in the house, we call for William. When we want the living room straightened, we tell William it’s his job. When his sister needs the water turned on in the bathroom, William is the one we ask to assist.

And though he has special privileges that the others do not, he still ends up saying time and again: “It’s no fair! Why isn’t Matthew or Lynne helping??”

The “Eldest Son Curse” is the same curse that affects the eldest son in the parable of the Prodical Son. In the parable, the youngest son has just gone off, squandered his father’s property and returned broke. And his father has thrown a party to celebrate!

No wonder the eldest son is so upset! No wonder he’s outside the party moping! I would be too! We’ve all known people who take advantage of their parent’s love and generosity. But its hardest when those people are your own family!

But the father still loves the oldest and doesn’t give up on him. As the party rages on inside, the father is outside the house pleading with his son and saying something like: “Everything I have is yours! Why didn’t you do what you wanted to before? What were you so afraid of, losing my love? Abandonment? I don’t abandon anyone for anything! Even when they do what your youngest brother did! Come on! Let’s go in and celebrate with your youngest brother. Then we’ll talk about the party we’ll throw for you!”

We eldest aren’t as bold as our younger siblings. We won’t ask for certain things because we know the answer is probably no. We try to do our best and try to get away with things, all the while knowing our younger siblings have an easier time of it. We work hard for our families. We are determined. We’re not the first to ask for help. We’re kinda stubborn.

Put these descriptors on the eldest and you can understand him better. The fact is, though, that despite all this the father was throwing a party. The reason was pointless. The father was throwing a party, killing the fatted calf to celebrate, and there was singing and dancing going on. What more do you want? Why does the reason for the party matter? It’s time to celebrate!

God is throwing a party right now and you are invited! It’s a party for all the losers who’ve returned home. All the spent, empty people that have come crawling back. And for all the ones who’ve stuck around and held down the farm while the rest have gone off to play. It’s a party with Christ the fatted calf being the host. And it’s for us all! So quit your belly0aching! Quit your bean counting! Throw away your rule book! It’s time to celebrate! Are you gonna be left standing outside pouting? Or are you gonna jump in and dance? Amen!

God Bless the Best Boy

“Now to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.” 1 Corinthians 12:7
Last night my wife and I watched the annual Hollywood event featuring the highest rollers in entertainment known, to most, as the Academy Awards! It was a stunning event last night with 10 Best Picture Nominations and a program that was classy in an old Oscar sort of way. The dresses were long and elegant and the stars looked, well, like stars! And the program was appropriately light and meaningful.

The awards were taken by a variety of people too. A variety of people took the awards too. Everyone from Sandra Bullock to the Special Effects team of Avatar to the makeup designing team of Star Trek. It was quite a mix!

One thing I noticed, though, was in all of this there were countless people that were never mentioned on whom a typical movie rests. Not one of the actors or actresses thanked “the crew”, the best boy, the grips, the sound guy, or their personal assitants. There was no award for the best casting director, the best coffee fetcher, or the best grips. All those “in charge” of things were awarded, but no one who actually did the work.

It shouldn’t surprise me. After all, most people take for granted that the average 2 hour movie has over 200 or more people working on it! More if you consider special effect movies. The less you see people on the screen, the more people are working behind the scenes. And yet there is nothing for them. No “congratulations”. No big award. Just the calm assurance of a job well done.

We might think the same at church too. After all, there is the pastor and, at times, a few others up in front of people. There are council members who give their time and take a more public leadership role, but for the most part, most people stay behind the scenes.

And yet, it may surprise you, but church isn’t church without them! Paul speaks of this in his letter to the Corinthians. “On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment.”
In other words, the church rests in the hands of the background people. Those people who make coffee at church and greet people at the door. The ushers and the acolytes and the worship assistants. The crew who maintains the church and the crew that chooses songs. The women who make sure the kitchen is stocked and the kids who come in just to worship and color pictures.
We are not a church where Stars parade down our red carpets in their fancy dresses, posing for pictures at certain opportune moments, and saying things that they really don’t mean. We’re a church for the nobodies. A church for the weak, the lost, the lonely, the sick, the sinful, the imprisoned, the abandoned, the lame, the blind, the handicapped, and the wanderer. We’re a church for the least, the little, the lost, and the dead. At the front of our church is our Star, Christ Jesus, who, though we claim is God, lived a peasant’s life, was a transient without a home, and died a criminal of the State! We are not a church of the Stars, we’re a church of the Crew. A church of and for those in the background who never get even a thank you in life.

And that’s okay. For Christ died and rose to save us. And though we may never get recognized in this life, though we may always live in the background of life, someday we will sit together as the whole people of God at a ceremony that dwarfs the Academy Awards to celebrate the marriage of Christ the Lamb of God! May that day come quickly, Lord Jesus! Amen.

Woohoo! We're going...to church?!

I rejoiced with those who said to me, "Let us go to the house of the LORD." Psalm 122:1

My oldest son said the strangest thing the other day. Three weeks ago, when our Lenten services really got going, my oldest son looks at me and says: “What are we doing tonight?”

“We’re going to church. It’s lent,” I said.

“Lent? What are we doing there?”

“We’re going for soup and bread and...”

“Oh yeah!” he said, pumping his arm. “I love soup nights!”

Of if we could all get that much joy and excitement when faced with the prospect of going to church!

This verse from the psalm of David can touch people in different ways.

For some I think they might agree. “Yes!” they would say. “Sunday is the best day of the year and I love going to church!”

Other people would laugh hysterically at these words because they’re just NOT true. Church for them isn’t about joy but about obligation. They are obligated to go, either by their own inner sense of guilt or by their parents or by a commitment they made. Either way, rejoicing is NOT in their vocabulary in describing church. It’s something you HAVE to do...unless there’s something else going on in which case you’re free to do what you like! God will understand.

But David’s onto something here. Rejoicing in the presence of God and at the prospect of worship. Obligations don’t help us rejoice. If I’m obligated to do something, chances are I’m not going to enjoy doing it. If I’m obligated to do the dishes or do the laundry or change the cat litter, I’m not going to enjoy it. I might do it...or I might put it off for another day or week. “I’ll get to it when I can,” I’ll say.

But if I enjoy something than I’m looking forward to it. I’m planning around it. I’m making sure that all my obligations are taken care of so that I can enjoy it! I’m rearranging my schedule so I can do it. I’m spending my money to make it possible. I’m doing everything in my power so that, when the time comes, I’ll be ready to enjoy myself.

What if we looked forward to church the same way? What if we planned our week around worshiping God, instead of what happens more often, worshiping ourselves. What if we organized our lives around going to church on Sunday, making sure that all our obligations were taken care of. Making sure even those outside of church knew how important it was to us and that there was NO WAY we were missing it! What if we truly stepped into King David’s shoes here and rejoiced when we went into the house of the Lord.

I’ll tell you what would happen. A revolution! A reformation of the church from the inside out. Instead of dreary Christians, you would see Christians with smiles on their faces. Instead of the infighting that so often happens, you would see a real love of the neighbor take hold and a joy for life. You would find you’d have MORE time to do what you wanted, rather than less. You’d find friends to help you in times of need and you’d find the heart of God residing right here in the church itself.

We have that power. We have the power to make church fun or not. We have the power to change our own attitude and perception of things and start looking forward to spending time with God and with others, instead of dreading it. We have the power to rejoice before God. Because...as hard as it is to hear...that’s what God is doing already! Rejoicing over us! Let’s join the dance, jump in our cars this weekend, and join the fellowship of believers as we dance, and sing and pray and dance around the altar of God whose grace and love call us to rejoice! Amen!

Encountering the Lost

“The Son of Man came to seek and the save what was lost.” Luke 19:10

Last Monday, our family went to Chuck-E-Cheese to fulfill a promise we made to our kids almost a month ago. As we were sitting at our seat, watching the kids play their tokens away, I overheard two women from the seat next to us. As they were watching a Menonite family enter the place, and as they entered, one woman asked the other.

“Say, do you go to church?”

“No,” replied the other. “Not since my wedding was in the catholic church and even then, I didn’t really want it there.”

Then that same woman sighed. “You know,” she said quietly to her friend. “I’m kinda lost.”

That brief conversation struck me...hard! Lost?? Did she really say she was lost?? I felt nervous to approach them, to ask them about what they had said. After all, what would I say, that I overheard them talking? I decided to let it pass, but quietly I said a prayer asking God to find whoever the woman was.

Afterward, it struck me again. Here I was sitting in Billings, without a care in the world, and the “lost” that Jesus speaks about was sitting right across from me. There was nothing to set her apart. She looked like every other person there. She had dressed nicely enough and seemed to have her life together. But deep down inside, she was lost!

So often we think that the mission field is someplace out there. Someplace foreign, remote, maybe even in a different country. We sit at home, stare at the television, and hope that the people overseas find God.

The reality though is that the lost are here! Right here under our noses! They are our neighbors living across the street and the person we say hello to as we get into our car in the morning. They are our in-laws and even our children. They are the postman, the waitress at the resterant, the check-out girl, and our co-worker. They can be literally anyone in the world. Anyone who has lost their way, who is spiritually adrift, who hasn’t the rock of Christ grounding them in their life.

But what do we do? So we know they’re out there. So what? Well...there are a few things we have been called to do.

First of all, we can pray. Pray for those who are lost. Pray for your neighbor that you never talk to across the street. Pray for the postman, the waitress, the check-out girl. Pray for your co-worker that he or she would find some direction in their life. Pray for the woman always complaining about her husband, that peace would be upon her. Pray for the unchurched, that they would find a good church-home for them. PRAY!!

Pray for them all. For workers who will speak to them, for friends that will lead them to Christ. Pray for the person who will tell them about Jesus Christ, for the person who will invite them to church. And pray for yourself, that God will give you the strength when the hope that is within you is questioned, to answer boldly and in love toward the neighbor.

We cannot say we don’t know the lost. We know them all too well. The question becomes: Do we care enough for them to lead them to Christ? Or will we leave them to wander about on their own? Amen.

Family Love Expanded!

“While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”
Jesus replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” Matthew 12:48-49

I love my family.

My wife, my sons, and my daughter all hold special places in my heart. I love spending time with my parents, my siblings and their families, and even my uncle and aunt(though they rarely ever spend time with me). Even my wife’s family, my “in-laws” are near and dear to my heart.

I am a different person around my family. To those I grew up with, I’m “Billy”, and I know now I’ll never really grow out of that name. To my kids I’m “daddy” and to my wife I’m “honey.” There is a special love I hold for my family. A love that I have for no one else.

Families are precious things to all of us. We are very different when we’re just around our family as opposed to how we are around our co-workers, our friends, and even those we know at church. We have a special love for our families that we have for no one else. A love that is intimate, personal. A love with history behind it. A passionate, nurturing, tender love. A love of family.

We might expect that, if we have such love for our families, than God must have that love for His. Afterall, God came down to earth as a human being, as Jesus of Nazareth. Surely he had a special love for his family.

But we find that, in Jesus, God’s love is something rather strange. Instead of having one love for his family and one love for the rest of the world, as we have, God’s love is a family love expanded out to...everyone! Jesus gives a little hint of that love in this peculiar and seemingly harsh conversation surrounding his family.

In this lesson, the crowd, seeing Jesus’ family wishes to speak to him, is willing to dismiss him from teaching to talk to them. “Go on, Jesus,” they seem to say. “We understand. You need to love your family now.”

But Jesus, unwilling to set one person over another, replies. “You think I have a special love for them? It’s no different than the love I have for everyone who does the will of the Father. In fact, I love them as much as I love my family.”

This might sound weird to us, since we don’t love others like we love our family. We don’t love our fellow Christians, our pastor, our co-workers like we love our family. When our family is at home, we’re relaxed. When others come to visit, outside our family, we get all tense. We clean the house and make sure everything looks its best because they might not understand us like our family does.

But God loves everyone as his family. And that’s good news! God doesn’t have one love for one person and another love for another. His love is a family love for everyone. He feels as passionately about us as our spouses do. He feels as tenderly toward us as we do about our children. He feels as comfortable around us as our parents and our siblings do. He knows us better than our most intimate companion. He wants the best for us and urges us to make good choices, and he forgives us and accepts us when we falter. God knows us for who we are... And he loves us just the same!

So, as you remember the love you shared with your family at Valentine’s Day this past year, may you remember the love that God shares with us, not just once or twice, but each and every moment of each and every day. A love that is stronger, more vibrant, and more real than even the love we share with those we hold near to our hearts. Amen!

God Chooses Sides!

So... did you watch the Super Bowl? Yes? No? Which team did you root for? Did they win?? Were you happy with the results? Or were you seriously disappointed?

I have to say, having watched the game, that it was one of the most exciting games I had seen in awhile. The Saints certainly made a great comeback and that one pass that was caught was awesome! Even being as football illiterate as I am, that was a great game to watch.

Around every football game, the question remains: Whose team are you rooting for? Which team do you want to win? For the enthusiast, that question is at the heart of who they are. Especially when THEIR team is playing! But for the rest of us who could care less, that question becomes an entertaining one. Which side should I root for?

We usually think that God doesn’t take sides. That He is passively neutral to the world. But that thought is mistaken. True, God doesn’t really care who wins the Super Bowl, but he does care about sides. And for God, that choice is easy. God is on the side of the poor.

God says so Himself. In the book of Isaiah:
"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.

There is a thought in our culture today that poverty is somehow the fault of the poor. That anyone can pick themselves up off their bootstraps and make something of their life. While it may be true for some, for most of the poor in the world, they were born into that condition. Much like we were born into families who could afford 3 square meals each day, cars to drive in, a roof over our head, clothes, and toys, they were born in families that could afford none of those things.

Who will stand with them? Who will take their sides? Who will root for them and encourage them and give of themselves for their benefit??

God will, that’s who! God is on THEIR side. God is on their team! And God calls us to be on their team as well. To “clothe the naked, provide the poor wanderer shelter, and share your food with the hungry.” To be advocates of the poor and needy in our own community. And God will reward those who take their side too. Those who satisfy the needs of the oppressed and spend themselves in behalf of the hungry are promised “your light will rise in the darkness and your night will become like the noonday.”

So... how are you spending yourself? Whose team have you chosen? Have you chosen another team besides the poor? Most of us parents spend ourselves for our children. We literally spend our money, our resources, and our very lives on the little ones that run around our feet. That’s fine...but who else are you spending yourself for and on? Do you care for the poor with what is left of your time, your talents, and your resources? Or have you forgotten them and turned to giving to yourself instead?

Whose team have you chosen? It’s something worth looking at. And is it the same team as God has chosen? Amen!

Agape Love: What Makes Us Human

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

In the bowels of MIT, there is an experiment happening to make robots more human. The pioneer in this field, a robot by the name of Nexi, can smile, blink, nod, and show emotion in a variety of ways. Its sole mission in life is to make the humans interacting with it happy. In fact, it thrives on human interaction! You can read the rest of the article at: http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/robotics/4343892.html

The advent of robotics brings us to a curious question. What makes humanity...human? What makes us different from the robots we create or the animals that also populate our planet? What makes us different from the other living things on this planet?

Most of what we do and say in life is really quite instinctual. We work...so we can eat. We surround ourselves with family. We have children and perpetuate our species. Even the memories we carry from one generation to another can be seen in animals. We communicate with others, just like animals do. We extend our territory and keep ourselves alive in the same way that every other living thing on the planet does.

But what makes us human? What makes us unique? We could list off many qualities that define humanity, but the one that makes us completely different than any other creature on the planet is really the most simple. It’s love. Not just any love either. Not the love we have for our families.

That love we see all over nature. Even your pet dog will mourn the passing of their companion dog. Not the love we see in our community. Again other animals show this love for each other. They stay in packs and often will even sacrifice themselves for the good of the others.

No the love that makes us human is what the Bible calls Agape love. This is the love we have for those we’ve never met! It’s the love we have for the folks in Haiti after their devastating earthquake. It’s the love we have for the homeless on the streets of Billings, Los Angeles, and elsewhere. It’s the love that compels us to compassion for the stranger and the wanderer.

And it’s the love described by Paul as being essential to...everything! To faith. To prophecy. To everything you can possibly think of! Without this love, we are nothing more than animals vying for more territory. It’s Agape love that makes us as a species unique on earth. Dogs do not care about dogs in other cities. Cats the same. Even chimpanzees, one of our closest relatives, have little knowledge or compassion for chimps in other cages in other places.

But we do. We risk our life and limb to save those we have never met. We give our own resources to help those who can’t help ourselves. We care, even for the animals that populate our planet with us. We love others in a way that is unthinkable in the rest of the known universe.
This is what makes us human. This is what we share with God. God’s love is agape love too. He cares for everyone, equally across the world. God’s love is so strong that it compelled God to give up everything, even life itself, to save people who hated him! “For God demonstrates His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us!”

This agape love never ends! All other loves in this world are subject to death. Erotic love ends when the lover dies. Love between friends can dwindle with time or distance. But agape love, it never ends. It extends past life and creates a new life. It is resurrection and life and wonder and joy and peace and hope and bread and water! It is all that matters in the end.

So, in the meantime as you live your life, take a moment to reach out to your neighbor. Those across the street from you that you barely know. Those in distant lands across the seas hurt by the earthquake or suffering from daily poverty. Even the neighbor you despise. Reach out in love and compassion. For in doing so, you will share the one quality that no robot or animal can reproduce. The quality that God Himself has at His heart. The universal love of others. Amen!