The Dreaded Confrontation

"Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children." Genesis 32:11

The Dreaded Confrontation
By Rev. William Dohle

They had come. The one I dreaded.

As if on cue, my pulse raced. My head spun. Butterflies made their home in my stomach. My chest ached. Beads of sweat ran down my forehead to my chest.

I tried to look calm and act like I knew what I was doing. But it was no use. My attention was elsewhere. It was on the one I disagreed with. The one with whom I had fought.

No one ever tells the price you pay for arguing. No one ever says: "Don't even open your mouth. If you don't want stress every time they enter the room, just don't do it! Don't do it!"

Of course sometimes you can't help being at odds with someone. Sometimes they cause the problem.

But most times its also your fault. And you know it. Why else would those butterflies in your stomach be flying around as they are? Why else would you be so worried?

Personal conflicts happen to all of us. Arguments arise between us and someone at work, us and someone at church, us and our pastor, our teacher, or someone else in our lives.

Most times these conflicts are handled easily enough....we avoid them. We move them outside our world and exclude them, pretending they don't exist. Sometimes at our best, we may forgive them and find some way to work through our conflict.

But these conflicts are easy compared to others.

Imagine having such a conflict with a family member. A brother...a sister...a father or a mother...a grandson or some other family member. Then the stress doubles, or triples. Others we can avoid or exclude from our lives, but families really are bound together forever. Brothers are brothers, whether they love each other or not. Children do not choose their parents, nor parents their children. Like it or not, family members remain with us forever.

That is the situation Jacob found himself in as he heard word his brother Esau, the same one he had betrayed not once, but twice, was on his way to "visit" him. These were the feelings Jacob had when he heard that Esau was bringing four hundred men with him to the meeting.

"Why would he need so many," you can almost hear Jacob asking.

Desperate, Jacob prays to God, reminding God of his promise to Abraham and Isaac, and pleading with him: "Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children."

We can relate with Jacob. Not because an army of four hundred men are coming with our estranged brother, but because we too have experienced the hurt of estrangement from our family. We all have brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews and cousins that we do not get along with. Though we are connected by family, we are set apart because of something in our lives.

If you find yourself in that situation, take the time NOW to do something about it! Be the bigger man or woman and apologize. Take that first initiative and go to the relative that you disagree with. Go there under a banner of peace. Find something else to speak about, something other than your disagreement.

Take the advice of Paul to heart. "As far as it depends on you, live at peace with one another."

And PRAY! Pray for your estranged relative that God would give you both the strength to come together. To apologize. Pray that God will help you as you meet together. And pray for his peace.

In the midst of his stomach butterflies, God answered Jacob's prayer. And He will answer yours.

Heavenly Father, give me the strength and courage to reach out to those who I have disagreements with and apologize. Give me grace to forgive and be forgiven, through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.